I've been following the fallout of the USADA report into doping in the pro peloton. Cheats and liars are being exposed everywhere. I can't help wondering about this community of cyclists we have here at Sydney Cyclist.

I'm getting increasingly uncomfortable not knowing who's clean and who's not, who to trust who not to trust and, most importantly, who to sack.

It's time for full disclosure.

PS. Damian, we need a new profile question for all site members. "Have you, or any of your riding partners, used performance enhancing drugs?" It's a simple question that will make us all feel a lot more comfortable.

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Me first.

Yes I have and do use performance enhancing drugs*. I.e caffeine, gels, bananas, beer, snakes, and a bunch of pharmaceuticals that I will get scripts for if asked.

* should they still be considered performance enhancing drugs if they don't actually enhance performance?

You will be pleased to know that the Audax club licence contains this caveat:

NOTE: Conditions in clauses 3, 4 and 5 above, which relate to Anti-Doping Policy are fundamental requirements of Cycling Australia membership. However, given the nature of Audax Australia club activity, these conditions will not apply to standard Audax membership.

There is no such thing as doping in Audax.

That being said, I'm dismayed by the cornucopia of substances that you appear to be using on our rides. I'm getting along on salad sandwiches and chocolate milk. Where is the audacity in caffeine or gels?

I should have explained that the caffeine was prescribed to treat saddle sores and the gels are a requirement of my religious devotions and thus are implicitly exempted from categorisation as a banned substance.
Salad sandwiches and chocolate milk is the diet of a recreational randonneur. Once you get serious come and see me. I can introduce you to a good "trainer".

Ahem.

Using "religious beliefs" as a justification for using otherwise banned or unhealthy substances is sinful.

WTF??

Well that's my last "Clean" Alpine Classic.

I'll be back in "full gear".

Bananas are great BUT you must make sure they're ripe, very ripe. Bananas that are not ripe and 'starchy' are not helpful and take a while to digest. Drinking water is fine but be mindful of dilutional hyponatraemia - make sure you have some salt with it somehow...

The Gel Thang:

It really does all depend on how much you're outputting. However even when eating simple carbohydrates at the maximum rate that your body will allow them to be absorbed (roughly 1-1.5g per minute for an average adult) you will still, if pushing as hard as possible yet staying aerobic, be eating into your glycogen stores - it's a net loss.

If you're not pushing quite so hard it is entirely possible to manage to pedal all day while slowly burning your fat stores (& glycogen) but you won't be able to go as fast. You can also stay topped up easily just by eating as you go. Not so in a race.

For events less than 3 hours you can get away without eating much even if you are pushing quite hard. For endurance *races* (not leisurely rides) you do need to eat to maintain the energy output required and delay your glycogen depletion.

When we rode for 8 hours a day while touring the Netherlands we simply ate normal food and drink. Never had any issues. If I did that for the recent half ironman I raced, not only would I not be able to finish but I'd probably do myself some harm.

Nothing wrong with the gels if you are exerting yourself as if in a race and riding for a long time. Otherwise it is a waste of money...

The caffeine has been proven to make a difference to performance but interestingly the amount is largely irrelevant - just some caffeine is enough and if you are a regular coffee drinker the effect may be negligible. The diuretic effect of caffeine is non-existent when used during exercise.

Agree.  One other point about gels is that you can actually get them down rather easily.  If you are puffing and panting, clocking up 80% plus max heartrate, chewing an energy bar presents great difficulties.  But you must somehow get that carbohydrate.  That's where gels come into their own.

I’ve never been tested positive for drugs. 

You have to be tested though.... ;)

Looks left, looks right... whispering....

deep heat and glucodin tablets and, and wait umm err OK here goes...black current cordial stronger than recommended.

Phew, I feel better now

Eh? I think you posted this in the wrong website Boxhead - please make the suggestion to Strava instead.

My ego can do with moving up some of those tables....( maybe? )

Speaking of which, this T-shirt might be sold out soon :

http://instagram.com/p/Q8ThYSRQG0/

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