Cycling in Sydney Australia
and this classic from Paul....."Team Sky are starting to turn up the vice". Yes, and they might even turn the screws a bit too, or put down the hammer and pick up some nails. Lots of workshop metaphors flying around.
Must we have constant ads for erection problems?
"Meanwhile, the guy in the passenger seat was doing nothing! NOTHING!!"
But you've been to France Neil, that's how it works. There is always one person doing all things while the rest of the team hangs out. Check out any painting: one bare breasted woman dashes forward with the flag, while all the guys stand around talking about the weekend.
The next down will be tricky
I think their PLan C is for the Steve Bradbury approach, and just hope that everyone ahead of them falls over :-)
I think last night, BMC had no choice. It was a brilliant attempt and it destroyed the peleton in the process. Hopefully with Nibali now sitting in 3rd he might be willing to go on the attack and see just how much energy Wiggins has.
Looks like a few more riders have abandoned the race too. We're down to 167 riders now.
Rabobank are down to four.
I just don't think he is at the same level he was last year, not to mention I've not seen as dominant a performance by a team in the mountains as Sky has had this year since the USPS train...
Today we need to come to terms with the fact that our favourite may not win out against his younger opponent. Sherwen was scoring heavily for all Commentary Jerseys and it was nice to see him at the top of the show taking the p!ss out of himself. Apparently there was only time, though, to feature four of his cargo-container-full of clichés – “suitcase of courage”, “throw down the gauntlet”, “cat among the pigeons” and, Tomo gleefully chucked in, “heads of state [of the TdF]”, which last we are yet to hear in this Tour.
Yet it was a super day of attacking commentary, the fight going right down to the wire with cliché following repetition chasing economy-of-words, and really hotting up as the cream rose to the top on the final climb up to the summit at the top of the mountain on the peak of which was the stage finish line.
Phil was still struggling today to separate BMC's Marcus Burghardt and the non-riding, retired Swede, Magnus Bäckstedt, but Paul sympathised, acknowledging the difficulty of two names with the same initials. It's probably a good thing that Bradley Wiggins and Cadel Evans are so hard to confuse, though Phil managed that, too, late in a looong day.
Paul scored multiple mispronunciation points with “Some riders have been dropped from that group – Malcarne [Malacarne], Maxime Bouet, Johnny Hooligand … Hula … Hoogerland!” Phil showed some disrespect to his opponent and just laughed at him.
But the strain is showing on Phil. He seems to have caught Paul's geographical confusion – if it is Thursday, we must be in... “Remember we started from St Jean de Maurienne as, ...er, we were very close to the finishing climb today – La Toussuire – which climbs directly out of the start town today – St Jean de Maurienne – no!... we started at Albertville, I beg your pardon.” This time Phil laughed at himself.
While his team mate's short-term memory may be shaky, Paul demonstrated there is nothing wrong with his long-term memory, no matter how irrelevant the memories are. “I always like to remember that, in 218BC, Hannibal, the leader of the Carthaginians, passed through this valley, Phil, with 90,000 infantry soldiers, 12,000 calvary [sic] and 37 elephants.” Paul looks very well for his age, don't you think?
“And there's no time to worry about the damage done for The Greens,” Phil responded with an uncharacteristically political opinion or, at least, an entry in the Incomprehensible category.
After an ad break, “Get your motor running” music featured and I expected Paul to trot out his V8 turbo cliché but instead he dipped deeper into his Cargo-Container-of-Cliché for an extended metaphorical outing I don't recall hearing before, despite the initial assertion: “Well, it's what I've always said to you, Phil, about the Tour de France. It's like having a bank account of energy. You can only use so much of it because if you go into overdraft facility then you are going to go off the back of the group, and he used a lot of his bank of energy yesterday...”
I was expecting David Bowie as Paul then intoned: “Evans has just been sitting there with a number of team mates around him; he's still got Tejay van Garderen, the young American, and George Hincapie, the old(er) American.”
Phil became overexcited as Cadel attacked “the yellow jersey of Bwadley Wiggins”, managing to mangle an Anglo name. He then had the Island State up in arms with “Italian flags on the right, an Australian on the front, followed by a Tasmanian..” We mainlanders know you really meant an “Australian Capital Territorian on the front” as you were referring to the tireless Mick Rogers, but you wisely chose actual economy of words.
Paul came out with another new metaphorical cliché combined with language-mangulation. “There's some big names in this group. We've decanted the real cream to the top of the peloton this afternoon.”
Phil had some intelligence to share about the last descent: “It was very, very badly unpaved on the way down” he told us. Hang on, couldn't that be good, if “badly unpaved” equates to “well paved”? It certainly didn't look unpaved as Pierre Rolland confirmed after closely inspecting the surface on one sharp bend.
A controversy over the Tour judge's “precarious” decision at a KOM point had both Paul and Phil going off at an irrelevant tangent to battle in currency conversion. The prize the rider had won equalled 11,000 Ugandan Shillings, advised Paul. Phil countered with a conversion to “African” Rand. South-Pacific-Peso holders were none the wiser.
Phil launched his final attack of the day, attempting to surprise Paul with: “This guy's yo-yo was bought in a cheap shop”. Paul was unworried, reeling Phil's break back in steadily with “You know, when the lights go out and you've been doing all that pace-making, they really go out and you have to just turn them off with a switch and that's exactly what Micheel Rogers has done...” But Phil was not quite finished, counter-attacking with “You know, he who suffers the longest, wins the day.” Er, yes, that would be the winner of last place. Paul would not be denied the stage win and reached into his auxiliary Cupboard of Carpentry Clichés: “ Chris Froome is slowly screwing up the… screw there.”
Phew, I wonder if they can repeat today's performance over even more mountains tomorrow.