Your hilarious piece of satire in this morning's Herald made my day.

You managed to jam in every Daily Telegraph cliche into one letter, brilliantly done sir. This will do wonders by encouraging debate within the community (not mention lots of activity here) and get people talking about cycling. Cycling has its nutjobs, but letters like this show the backwards thinking of the other extreme and make cyclists look like very well balanced individuals in the process.

Your contribution to the cause has been noted.

See you on the roads



Views: 46

Comment by Phil on June 26, 2008 at 11:49am
A nice piece of satire
Comment by Michael O'Reilly on June 26, 2008 at 5:25pm
I just feel sorry for all those terrorised motorist too scared to go out in their cars lest they are injured by aggressive cyclists. Maybe we should build car lanes for these poor people.
Comment by ChrisS on June 26, 2008 at 5:38pm

Comment by Nick on June 27, 2008 at 11:47am
Thats funny. A cyclist must have penned it as its accuracy could have only come from one who dons lycra.
Comment by DamianM on June 27, 2008 at 2:18pm

Comment by vished on June 27, 2008 at 2:33pm
In case people don't get the Sacasim... here's a straight response:

"WHAT do cyclists have in their clipped-on water bottles that makes them all so insufferably self-righteous? Cycling is trumpeted as a panacea for all the world's ills from obesity to global warming."

This could be due to the state of the major cities being so warped that cycling has become an extreme activity that only the most passionate bike riders even attempt.

"The reality is arriving at work following a near-death experience, a lung full of exhaust, flustered, sweaty and needing a shower. I'll take my air bags, Eric Satie and climate control, thank you very much. Cycling to work is in the same league as barefoot water skiing and eating ultra hot chillies: it is done purely for masochistic reasons unfathomable to the broader community."

This has more to do with the state of the roads than cycling as a sport.
In cities where bicycles have been incorporated in town planning, riding to work is a pleasant, health giving activity. Unfortunately this doesn't happen often. It's the worst of human nature that invents a concept like 'climate control' that gives them temporary relief from the effects their own actions are causing to the environment. It's ironic that climate control is actually a response to climate destruction.

"Much effort has been made to encourage people to ride to work, but it just doesn't work. The truth is people prefer driving. The cycling evangelists blame Government policy, but the reality is that 99 per cent of us aren't interested in being converted. Holland and Denmark are held up as shining lights of the cyclocracy; but none of the cheer squad has noticed that these countries are flat. Cyclists respond aggressively to any perceived threat to their space but form the largest group of unpunished law-breakers on the road. They are suddenly a pedestrian when the walk sign is green, and a vehicle when the traffic light gives the go-ahead. The apparent positive of being able to sail through the traffic is possible only because cyclists undertake at every traffic light."

No pain, no gain. It's a sad inditement of the mass populous that "99 percent" of austrialans might need to be converted from the 'norm' of driving their SUVs to the gym so they can pay to pretend to exercise on electric powered equipment.
Australians fattest people on earth
The need to bend road rules on occasion is largely a response to the dangerously aggressive driving that cyclists are faced with on the roads that is only encouraged by media coverage of motor racing and poor urban planning.

"I patiently move lanes to pass a cyclist only to find they have scooted up the inside to hold us all up yet again. They add to global warming by forcing cars to spend longer on the road."

Car drivers have never had to contend with navigating a stream of 100s of tonnes of metal traveling at 80kmh inches from their handle bars.

"Cyclists are fortunate to be a minority group that has managed to claim the moral high ground for their dangerous pursuits. They set out on rides with a high level of pre-emptive aggression; mere motorists are too scared to make a comment for fear of a hostile bicycle pump whacking the bonnet. And when cyclists roam in packs they have more testosterone than a Port Macquarie pub."

It's only a dangerous pursuit because of the over use of motor vehicles! For example, do you think there could be a connection with the adrenalin levels involved with being cut off by a 10 tonne truck as a cycle lane magically disappears and the aggressive response from cyclists?

"Motorists are rightly concerned about being lynched without any recourse to common justice. While a dented bonnet may cause temporary grief, spare a thought for pedestrians who are much more vulnerable to attack."

Pedestrians are more vulneralbe from cars than cyclists. It's a simple case of physics. The formula is: Mass + speed = right of way.

"So, "fewer cyclist" is the call to arms. Let's force them to follow the same road rules as everyone else, or take their self-righteous padded bottoms straight to Centennial Park."

If only it was that easy. If car drivers treated cyclists as cars (giving them space) as they are legally entitled to do then there wouldn't be a problem. Just because an over use of cars requires humans to pave the planet doesn't mean people need to conform to a landscape ruled by cars.


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