Cycling in Sydney Australia
Aka : Bad choices.
It’s another Friday and the eastern footpath up Burns Bay Road is still closed off.
And the Western footpath will be scattered with vicious bins marking their territory.
What does our brave and dauntless heroic commuter do ?
He thinks hard for an alternative and suddenly it strikes him. - Mt Wannahockaloogie!
Yes, memories of the evil 15% climb along Riverview St which had him reduced to using the 24” gear a year or more ago.
Our hero laughs at the face of danger, and psyches his mind for the challenge.
Surely the fresh-out-of-the-LBS with some Ultegra components Frankensteined to his bike will undoubtedly give him the winning edge against gravity, he nods to himself as he swoops a right turn down Linley lane.
Dangers abound as he brakes on the steep descent noticing some moss on the ground, easing off those nifty Ultegra brakes to avoid a skid he slips elegantly into the path.
Ah, right, damnit, it’s a cyclo-cross path. Sand and tree roots loom up on the path to thwart our hero.
How did a vision of the 15%climb manage to cloud out this minute detail on this sector of the ride?
Our hero presses on, as bits of wet sand fly all over our heroes no-longer pristine drive-train a pang of pain pierces his heart, but he preserves resolutely (ie curses and swears) and promptly the bike fishtails as he brakes for a swamp of crocodiles. ( or maybe a wet muddy patch.)
Calmly he takes stock of the situation (ie after another long list of profanities ) and eyes a possible dangerous path that edges the swamp.
He dismounts and edges his way around, carefully moving as one with nature to avoid agitating the crocodiles, and suddenly he’s back on his bike and breaks out of the jungle to find himself at the edge of a craggy cliff.
The winds howl menacingly and waves smash at the rocks to his right screaming angrily for him to shatter himself on the rocks to devour him, as he wrests for control threading his bike along the infamous Seawall of death.
(a nice a tranquil ride along a seawall with no barrier stopping our hero falling into a placid waters just doesn’t have the same ring to it)
Wooden bridge looms and sways dangerously but that does not stop our hero, he’s committed , to braving all and every danger as the Crystal Skull needs to be returned to Temple of Doom to avoid the lifetime of pain to the next generation of the world - and there is no one else who is heroic enough to save the world – especially not that chap practicing his golf swing in the reserve to the left.
At last he leaves the wilds behind and the steep challenge of Mt Wannahockaloogie looms and off he begins the climb. Muhahahaha, is it Ultegra components? Or is it the 27 cassette paired with a dastardly 38T chain ring ?
Our Hero manages to huff, puff and defeats Riverview St without coming off his bike!
Now… where’s that Crystal Skull?
…if only the rest of the ride was as entertaining.