I have been a bit mystified by the above chalking that appeared on the ground at the Wilson Street bollards
. Bike Nazis? I had no idea what the writer was on about yet I was intrigued enough that every morning and afternoon as I passed through the area I kept my eye out for Nazis on bikes, but I did not see anything or anyone that I could even remotely categorize as a Bike Nazi or even a Pedestrian Nazi, just the usual Methadonians and self-absorbed uni students. So I gave up, I figured that Bike Nazis only existed in the imagination of the poor deluded soul that had scrawled on the road - and probably got run over for their troubles.
I had put the whole issue behind me and managed to resume normal sleep patterns, then a few days ago I stumbled across an article in The Guardian: Spyclists: how Hitler Youth's cycling tours caused panic in prewar ...
So Bike Nazis do exist after all!
But what are they doing in Redfern, eighty years later? Have they escaped from some kind of Nazi cryogenic time chamber?
The Bike Nazis were instructed to:
"Impress on your memory the roads and paths, villages and towns, outstanding church towers and other landmarks so that you will not forget them, ... Make a note of the names of places, rivers, seas and mountains. Perhaps you should be able to utilise these sometime for the benefit of the Fatherland … Wade through fords so that you will be able to find them in the dark."
So now I feel I have a patriotic duty to keep an eye out for groups of uniformed foreign cyclists riding around our countryside
and report them to the ever vigilant folks at the National Security Hotline
(if they haven't barred my number again). In case the authorities do not respond to this new threat in a timely manner I will do my bit to secure my local area by planting CatHeads
in Sydney Park and in those nice planter boxes on King Street, Newtown and I shall also increase my surveillance of the Concordia Club
, particularly when the kitchen is open. To be fully prepared for the inevitable day when my country needs me I will increase my efforts to make myself fighting fit
by doubling my weekly PT routine from five pushups to ten.